"Oh God, why was I born here?"

We were all sitting in my room talking about America and what it's like, where I live and about my family.

Then Robertson said, "Oh God, why was I born here?"

I looked at him with a blank expression. I had no idea what to say at that moment. I thought to myself..."God, why was he born here? Why not me? Why is the situation not reversed?" 

Robertson was living with his grandmother when Ma Zoe found him and brought him to Mother Blessings home. He went on to tell me that his grandmother is now dead and only has the names of his parents. He has no idea if his parents are alive or dead. He looked at me and said, "I have no real family."

I quickly disagreed and said that he has a big family in Christ. I told him that if he wasn't brought here he wouldn't have been blessed with 80 brothers and sisters. He wouldn't have been given a chance at life. He would be living on the streets like so many kids in Liberia.

I don't know the answer as to why Robertson was born in Liberia with nothing when I was born in America with everything. But one thing I do know for certain is that the bible always confirms any thoughts of the question why.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

God has a plan for Robertson just like He does all the other 80 children in Mount Barclay. I am so certain of this that I will not worry about Robertson's future because it is already in the hands of God. I told him to never lose hope.

This is why God has me here, to give these kids hope through the Word.

Beautiful 4

Massa:

When Sis Molly arrived on December 9, 2012 in Liberia on Mother Blessing's Campus, her home, we were very happy for her coming. We had some fun on Sunday. On Wednesday December 12, 2012 we had our ladies night. We really enjoyed that day because our guest speaker, Rebecca, came and taught us about being Beautiful and how to obey God and love our fellow friends.

After that the boys served us sandwiches and juice. After that Sis Molly handed out our shirts and flowers. After that we went outside to have fun and also she called us and present us with our first Christmas present which was a TV set. As we were watching TV Sis Molly fixed our nails that night. We really love Sis Molly.

On behalf of all the girls of Mother Blessing Children Home we want to appreciate Sis Molly and the girls are asking her to please continue with her job. Also we want to send our thanks and appreciation to Sis Molly's parents, that they should please continue to help Sis Molly so that she can help us.

Thank you to Melissa for starting Beautiful and allowing Sis Molly to have it in Liberia!

We the girls love you(Sis Molly) but God loves you the best. We pray for long life and prosperity to be with you because there is nobody that can take your place.

Welcome Home

The beautiful thing about going home after you've been gone for 6 months is, it feels like you never really left at all. It feels as if the last 6 months was another life and the next two weeks is apart of my life here in Liberia. Leaving one family to join another is just a little taste of what Heaven will be like one day. I arrived Sunday to a yard full of screaming kids and I enjoyed every second of being bombarded with hugs! Seeing all the kids happy faces reminded me of why I do what I do. I have been given the opportunity to love on everyone here and I won't take one minute for granted.

Sunday night we had devotion like always and Elijah, president of Mother Blessings, spoke on John 3:17. He hit it right on point and spoke to us about how Jesus didn't come to condemn us, He came to save us. There's not too much more you can say to add to that statement but I told them that Jesus came to love us and that when we choose to give our lives to Him we must turn away from our sins. Elijah said it over and over, Jesus didn't come to condemn us but to save us and to give us eternal life. It couldn't have been a better devotion to start off my two weeks here in Liberia.

The past few days have been amazing and the next 10 days will be great as well. But instead of me blogging most of the two weeks, I'll be allowing the kids to blog as well! 

Moses says:

We are very very happy to see Sis Molly coming back to West Africa Liberia especially at Mother Blessing Children Home at Mount Barclay. Even to sponsor this home. 

Few years ago when Christian Aid was sponsoring this home, they never came back and stopped the sponsorship. But the Lord Jesus was with us and sent someone to take their place. For this, may God bless Sis Molly and her friends and we asked that what so ever that she decides to do may God give her wisdom and long life. And even her friends and family members we asked what so ever that you give her may God bless you. Especially Sis Molly's father, mother, brother and sister and even the 15 year old little boy.

I extend my greeting to brother Matthew(name on my prayer pillow), what so ever materials that you send I received it. As you are praying, I am praying along with you day and night.

I am Moses Kollie or Mozicke. I am 18 years old and in the 8th grade.

You all back home are making more of a difference than you know!

Just waiting...

I have never felt more like a mother than I did today. I got one text, just one and this is what it said,

"some of the kids were coming from school and had a car accident. they are at JFK." (text from Baccus Roberts, mooreHOPE's representative in Liberia)

I received this text at 12:32pm. I immediately tweeted what had happened asking for prayer, texted all my prayer warriors and in between all that time, texted Baccus back 4 times to figure out some news. I waited, every minute feeling like a year. Every time my phone went off I jumped up waiting for it to be good news, nothing. It wasn't bad news, but at the same time..it was no news at all. 

I prayed that my kids were okay. I prayed that the driver was okay. I prayed for the hospital. I prayed for the doctors. I prayed especially for Mother Blessing and Uncle Theo (both caretakers of the orphanage home). 

I waited and waited. I finally realized how my mother felt when I was 2,000 miles away, in the hospital with malaria. Completely uncertain if her child would be okay. Now here I am, completely uncertain of what the next few days will hold for them but knowing one thing that is certain, God is holding there futures in His hands. 

As I waited for this news I realized that this situation is so much like our own lives. We wait and wait for God to answer our prayers, waiting for what we hope to be good news. As we wait, the devil plants bad thoughts in our head. "God isn't going to answer this prayer," & "If He does answer this prayer it isn't going to be what you wanted." 

I was sitting here, the devil taking over my mind. Telling me one of my kids isn't going to make it and they are all in critical condition and that there is NOTHING I CAN DO.

For a few minutes I was completely discouraged and then I remembered:

Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1 NIV)

I have faith. I have faith that I believe in the things I do not see. I have faith in a God who can protect those that I have no control over. I know that my God protects His children and He will protect them today.

At 4:23pm I got this text message, 

"there were eight of them in the accident. Boakai and Josephine were the most critical. all of em were discharged from JFK hospital. thank God!" (from Baccus Roberts)

I was relieved, much like a mother who found out her daughter was released from the hospital after fighting a deathly disease, twice.

I now have a new respect for parents, especially my own. 

You can be 2,000 miles away or 2 feet away, but some situations you just have absolutely no control over. You only have control over your faith. I have learned that God may not answer right away, but when He does it will be far greater than what you ever thought. 

I survived malaria, twice.

2,000 miles away from home and I had malaria. I didn't have the luxury of my parents getting what I needed in just a few short minutes or me running a hot bath to make me feel a little better. Nope, I didn't have any of those things. Not one. 

Then I realized, when people get malaria in Africa they don't think about where their parents are or if they can take a bucket bath, they are only thinking about how they are going to survive. How they are going to get treatment, if they get it at all. My hospital bill was $100. I stayed for two nights and three days. The hospital was nothing but a bed and a tiny bathroom. I am so grateful there were American nurses who kindly took care of me and made me an American dish!

I started thinking about how I got VIP treatment in the hospital because I had money. What about the people who didn't have money? What about the parents who couldn't afford to take there kids to the hospital for treatment? Do they have to just wait and watch their babies die?

It was my second week in Liberia and a little girl named Ma-V, who stayed at the orphanage home, was taken to the hospital. She, at only one years old, had malaria. She wasn't sleeping, she wasn't eating and she had a temperature of at least 103. I immediately rushed to the hospital knowing Mother Blessing didn't have the money for treatment. I had to beg the guards to let me in since it was passed visiting hours. As I walked in, Ma-V was just laying there, lifeless. She was always so lively and to see her like this was traumatizing for me. (Remember this is before I had malaria myself) I gave the doctor the money they needed to treat her and she has been well ever since! Praise God. 

Ma-V

At the orphanage home the kids would come up to me saying they had headaches and that it was because of the mosquitos (malaria). I just assumed it was a headache and gave them some Advil. I never thought anything of it.

Then I got malaria. Everything changed. The way I reacted to the kids when they didn't feel well almost instantly turned into mother instincts. I had felt the way they felt. Only, I had gotten treatment in a hospital. The best I could do for them at the time was send them to the little drug store to get some head ache medicine.

In 2010, malaria caused an estimated 655,000 deaths, mainly African children.

Since 2010 that number has increased. People are left to die in the streets trying to get to the hospitals. Parents are just waiting for their babies to stop crying. Kids are praying for their headaches to go away. But until people stand up and help fight this disease..they will still just be waiting, dying.

When I got back to the U.S. I got malaria all over again. I had a temperature of 104. Except this time I got 100% treated, it was gone. What a relief! For the people in Liberia and all over Africa they don't have that feeling.

I will be at risk for getting malaria every time I go but I'm not scared. I'm grateful to God for allowing me the opportunity to feel how these people feel every single day. I now understand what it feels like to have a disease that can kill you. This is a disease that is treatable and is very preventable!

Since being back I have decided I am going to be an LPN. I know what it's like to have a disease that has killed so many people and is still killing people today. As you have woke up with more healthiness than illness; 2,000 more people will die from malaria today.

I survived malaria, twice...those 2,000 people today can't say that.

My mosquito net.

The kids didn't want to leave me while I was sick.

Forcing down some juice and eggs in the hospital.

In the hospital. Completely exhausted but still smiling!

He is the reward.

Have you ever thought: "God, what you're asking of me is crazy..just down right crazy!"

Well I know I have and I'm sure you have as well. I think the closer you become in your relationship with Christ the more He will ask of you. The larger the task or the greater the sacrifice. But it's our job as Christians to be obedient to every word God speaks to us. Even if it is as simple as "Should I really hangout with that group of people?" Or as big as "Am I ready to leave everything I know behind and move halfway across the world?" Being obedient can be scary, but it will never feel wrong. Paul was obedient to God and ended up in prison. "Everyone who wants to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted." 2 Timothy 3:12. Living in the U.S., there is no reason for us to be scared to be obedient to Christ. We won't get thrown in prison for preaching the word of God like Paul did. For a man who was in prison for obedience..don't you think he might warn us? Don't you think he might say "learn from my mistakes" ? Nope. Instead Paul encouraged Christians to not only take the same path but to live it out with bold faith. Pauls last words to Timothy were: Press on, stay strong, endure the suffering, and stay true to what you've practiced. The reward is worth it. Paul would know. Paul finished the race strong, not by the worlds standards but by the one who's standard counts - Gods. "Christ himself is the judge, with the final say on everyone, living and dead." 2 Timothy 4:1. We must have faith, courage and confidence as Paul had. Because 2 Timothy 4:1 says " For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power love and self-discipline." 

We don't have to be scared of what's going to happen: The task ahead of us is never as great as the POWER behind us. (Billy Graham)

I've constantly gone through "struggles," mainly because of my own stupidity and selfish ways, but even so..I believe that people go through struggles so they can get back to the root of everything. Jesus taking our place on the cross, so that we could live forever in Heaven. It's not about what you're going through, it's about who you belong to. Paul knew he belonged to Christ, no worldly sufferings could stop him from being obedient. We need to have the mind set Paul had. 

We will stop at nothing to be obedient to Christ, no matter what the cost. Being obedient may be costly, but I am confident in God's reward. Not only does He reward us, but He is the reward.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Welcome Home Crew!

I can't believe it has almost been two months since I flew into Myrtle Beach with signs & screaming family members waiting on my arrival. After 24 hours of flying, 5 different planes, no sleep & one real meal..I would say I was ready to be out of the airport life! I could not have asked for a better welcome home crew! I know I had the biggest smile on my face, even though I had swollen ankles & malaria still lingering behind me! I am so grateful to the family God has given me to support everything I do! I could not have done this without any of them. As soon as we made it back to the beach house I had a nice juicy steak, baked potato and salad! A great first meal back in the states! Soon after that, I passed out around 7pm and finally was able to sleep after running on 3 hours the past 2 days! Spending the next week at the beach, relaxing and just enjoying time with the family couldn't have been a better way to come home. The days that I missed my family the most were Sundays. Sundays were always the days we would all eat together, all 45 of us! Sundays in Africa consisted of going to church & eating a late lunch with my kids! Oh how I wish I could have brought my whole family to Africa with me.

Driving home from the beach, I wasn't sure I was ready to be back in Locust again. My perspective on life has changed so much just to come back to a town that hasn't changed at all. I'm grateful for where I have grown up, but I already felt like I was home because I was with the ones I love..didn't matter where I was on the map. Being home was strange; sleeping in my own bed, using my own computer, getting food out of my own fridge. After living in an orphanage home for two months, taking bucket baths, paying to use internet and having to go on the street every time I was hungry.. I was in serious culture shock. I couldn't believe that at 1am I could walk down to the fridge and get something to eat. While in Africa, if I was hungry at 1am..oh well. Every time I ate I thought of the children, I thought of how small their little bodies are and I thought of how hungry they all were the first few weeks I lived there. I will never forget how hungry I was after trying (and failing) to eat one meal a day just like the kids and I didn't even work as hard as they did around the yard. I was lucky enough to have raised $2,000 to take to Liberia with me. I used $1,500 to pay for three meals a day and for more cups, plates, spoons and a few slippers for the kids that needed more! The kids faces would always light up after a day at Red Light, the biggest market in Liberia. They would come racing to the car grabbing all the food and thanking me for providing meals for them. 

Back in the states..I was home a week and feeling sick again. I had a fever of 104 and didn't have the strength to even get out of bed. I head to the hospital only to find out what I already know, I have malaria..again. After experiencing the African hospital, I was much more happy to be in an American hospital this time. As frustrated as I was that I had malaria all over again, I was glad it would be fully treated and I would be finished with it! Spent three days in the hospital with multiple guests who I was glad to see! Got calls from all over Liberia saying they were praying for me hoping I would get better soon. Being sick with malaria gave me another understanding of how these people feel multiple times throughout the year. It gave me a way to be able to connect with the people even deeper and I have been changed by having malaria, a treatable disease that takes the lives of 2,000 people every year. It gave me a reason to go back to college. If this is treatable, I can provide medical care for the people to get treated for free. 

Back at my house, trying to get back to "normal" was very difficult. I was trying to recover from all the malaria and sleep I didn't get and at the same time having to provide for these kids! I found out quickly that God wasn't going to give up on me, even when I felt like I was too weak to go on. I have collected money to provide three meals a day for all 75 kids for the month of August. I will send the money to provide three meals a day for September this week. When I specifically think of providing the kids with food, this teenage boy comes to my mind..Suah. Both his parents and siblings are living in Gbong County, about four hours away from Mother Blessings Home. Suah and his older brother were in another Home before, the woman in charge would only give them one meal a week..if they were that lucky. He talked to me about how hungry and weak he would be and how they would go looking for food anywhere. Ma Zoe (caretaker at Mother Blessings) found out this was happening and brought him to Mother Blessings Home to stay. After hearing of his experiences I couldn't bear the thought of him ever having to be hungry again. I knew this is where God was calling me and I know he would provide for these children.

I have been in prayer constantly since being home about my future. I do believe that my future will one day be in Liberia full time, but for now I will stay in His word. Learning more and more about my amazing Creator and growing in my faith. This has been a journey that I will never forget, another summer devoted to changing the lives of people all over the world..and this is only the beginning.

I believe that I went through all of this for a purpose. I was hungry, I was dirty, I was sick. I lived and experienced only a little piece of what my neighbors in Liberia, Africa experience everyday. Love your neighbor as yourself. I don't want myself to be starving, dirty or sick..so I don't want my neighbor to be either.

Made mac-n-cheese for all 75 kids one night in the Orphanage Home. They loved it! 

Food being set up and served to 75 children three times a day!

Suah, a sweet spirit who is  willing to do anything for anyone!

Liberia, Africa; my heart. Mother Blessing's rice farm!

HOPE

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, HOPE." -Romans 5:1-4

I read these verses one day at the orphanage home. My mind automatically goes straight to the word suffering. Growing up was never hard. I never had to cook for myself, never had to wash my own clothes and never worried about having enough food. I never had to use the word suffer. I never even realized what the real meaning was until Africa, until I read this. The old me would say that I suffered in high school because of certain temptations..but now, I realize that suffering isn't something you put on yourself. I said yes to the temptations. I was "suffering" because of my own sin. The people here are suffering because they were born into this country, it's nothing they did themselves. But as I've always said and always believed, everything happens for a reason. The Liberians are suffering, but because they still give glory to God for the little that they do have, it gives them hope. A hope that I have never seen in someone before. The children in Mother Blessing and Victoria's home get one meal per day, but no matter what; they always give thanks to God for providing food for that day. They give God the glory in a situation that I have never had to live in. Sometimes I feel that people in America only give thanks to God when we have asked for something, and he's provided..not when we have NEEDED something and he's provided. Everyone I interact with in Liberia has the same look in their eyes, it says: "I'm suffering to provide for not only myself but also my family, but even so I rejoice in the glory of God who has given me hope for a new day." If I ever thought I had to suffer before, I know now that I was only being foolish. I cannot count how many times I have thanked God for blessing me. I am blessed with a family who loves Christ, friends who support my dreams and a house with everything I need. Even though the people here live in one room houses with no electricity and no running water, I envy their faithfulness to Christ. I am overwhelmed at the hope I see for a better tomorrow everyday here. Suffering produces hope, boasting in the hope of the glory of God is all these people have. But in the end, that's all you really need anyways. 

Because you are young...

This past week was spent with the children at Mother Blessing's orphanage home. I was really excited to be going back this year since last year we only spent a few minutes with them.When I arrived at the home they all sang songs for me and welcomed me with open arms. I was amazed at how many kids faces I remembered and how many of them remembered me! Every night at 7pm we had devotion and they asked me to speak Wednesday night. I chose: 

1 Timothy 4:12

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity."

I explained to them how important it is to set a Godly example for the younger kids. I told them that this was the verse that got me back to Liberia. I was feeling really discouraged as people were telling me I was too young for such big plans, but as I kept reading this verse I knew God was on my side. He doesn't care how old you are, He only cares if you  are being obedient..and obedient I am. I made sure they understood that they can have big dreams too. I have be inspired by these kids (must which are younger than me) have such an amazing spirit and fire about them. I have been touched by their kindness, smiles, laughter and love. When I read the verse and then looked up at their faces, I knew I was telling them something they had already learned. These kids are role models, not just to younger children...but to me. Oh how I wish I could have been obedient to Christ at the age of 8 like so many of them. 

By the end of the week I managed to remember everyone's names and they call me "Sis Molly." I now an apart of an amazing family.

The kids' attitudes of obedience and servitude is outstanding and I am trying to be more and more like the role models they are everyday. 

Dirty Feet

Five days in Africa and my fingernail polish is worn off, I have a million mosquito bites and my feet are always dirty. I go to bed sweating and I wake up sweating. I take a bucket bath, get out and start sweating again. I really truthfully don't mind the sweating all that much, mainly because everyone in Liberia is sweating just as much as I am. So far I have accomplished; visiting Mother Victoria's orphanage, visiting a school, rode almost five pehn-pehns(motorcycle taxis), went to an African Sunday service and every meal has been an African dish. I would say I am officially a Liberian. I'm starting to feel more and more at home while walking down the streets and having people recognize me; even though I am the only white girl around town! Being back in Liberia is the most amazing feeling, I know this is where God wants me. If only I could fly my whole entire family here with me. Luckily I have their hands. As I've gone throughout these first few days I've found myself reading Romans 1:16 over and over again.

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes."

So today, Papaw Barbee; I put my hand in yours...forever. You are my hero, you have taught me to be courageous and to never give up on my dreams. In 1985 you came to Liberia and never got to finish what you set out to do. God's plan is so perfect and complete that only He would send me to finish His work in the country of Liberia. I am proud to be called your grand-daughter and humbled to be apart of God's plan that was started with you and has came down to me.

I am NOT ashamed of the gospel. I am NOT ashamed of the Power of God. 

I am NOT ashamed to travel thousands of miles from home to get my feet a little dirty.

I am NOT ashamed. 

African Eyes-Liberia 2011

    Before Africa, I was your typical teenager. I was that 18 year old who thought the world was going to end when her parents told her "No," and complained when she looked through her cabinets for food. A girl who really didn't care and never really realized how good she really had it.

     I was originally going with my church group to Kenya but God had a different plan for me. I ended up on a random trip to Monrovia, Liberia with 11 other wonderful people from all around the United States. Staying in Liberia for two weeks without my family by my side, forced me to search who I was and where I stood with God. I had realized that the choices I had made in the past were not the right ones and not the real me.

     Stepping off that plane was breath taking, T.I.A. This is Africa. A phrase used at least over a million times throughout our trip. I couldn't believe the culture shock Africa had on me as we drove down the streets of Monrovia. I saw people living in houses made of sticks and kids with worn out over-sized t-shirts on. Liberia had already started to show me that God blessed me with a roof over my head and clothes on my back.

     Living with the Liberians and ultimately turning into one, was an eye opening experience. All these things I have, I don't need. All these resources I use, I don't need to use them. Everyday at the camps, orphanages and even simply at the beach...God kept showing me over and over again how blessed I was. I always knew my heart was in the mission field, but Africa truly set me on fire to help people.

     Coming home from Africa was a very difficult transition for me. But even with TY, Facebook, cell phone, and car...I try to keep my life as simplicit as the life of Africa. I will always be thankful for the people of Liberia and the love for Christ they showed me. This experience ultimately changed my life, it has gone from destruction to giving everything up to God.

     I am now the 18 year old who can stay home on a Friday night reading her bible and looks through the cabinet only picturing the faces of the hungry children.

     I will never be able to show God how grateful I am; for my African eyes.

Jeremiah 29:11